i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
