I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
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