I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
