Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
