I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
