I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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