Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My vagina is officially offended.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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