Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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