dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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