just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
