So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
