Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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