Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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