white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
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