Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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