She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
