After last night, I could never be a politician.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
