I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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