if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Ketchup is God's man juice
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
