Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
