I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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