I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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