I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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