The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
