My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Randomize
