Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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