do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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