Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
