You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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