Little spoons don't ask big questions
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
