There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
