Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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