my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
