Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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