I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
