so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
