just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
