Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
