the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
porn star boner night. come get it.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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