I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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