is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
