if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
