i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
