He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
