I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
