susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
