Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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