I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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