what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
