Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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