We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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