Do vagina's smell?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
