I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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