DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
