these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
